- eRi's Ranting Place -

2010-06-15T09:41:00.002+08:00

i feel so sad

Ac's going to leave Melaka

God, i didnt know it would turn out this worst!

and he's not going back kuching!!

AHHHHHHH!!!

stupid psychiatrist

i heard 2 sides of stories for the past two days.

and just cant figure which one to trust

HOW COULD YOU DO IT?!

you're suppose to take chances and turn it around.

YOU WANTED TO CHANGE.

dont just runaway and never come back like that.

dont leave today.

PEOPLE STILL CARE!!

2010-06-13T02:09:00.002+08:00

i spend time with eunice tonight

and went back around 1.30am just now

muahahahahaha

we crapped a lot la

at least right now i know what type of guy im dealing with

haaaaa... AC, AC...

why would you carry the same burden put on to you,

and place your mark all over people?

just gossiping about you, one knows what a jerk you are.

there are times we all feel sympathetic.

there are times when we all we pity for you.

but if you cant forget no.5, from where would you start?

and all of those lies?

yes, change for the better.

each person give you a little push.

but you choose to fall back to the same point all over again.

what concerns me most is jaq now.

big part of me really dont want to tell her

but she needs to know.

not to drown in all those kind of lies.

and JJ freaking turn so gentle just now

felt like it was a different kind of him in msn =.=

2010-06-09T19:21:00.004+08:00

how does it feel to know a lot of things about someone whom you've never met?

how does it feel, if you dont even bother to know, about rumours and news that

are kept being told to you about them?

how does it feel that by every part of your life you're somehow

connected or related towards them?

how does it feel to know those bad things that that person has done?

how does it feel that someone else's life have the same flaws are yours?

how does it feel to have the same regrets and losses in life as theirs?

how does it feel to know what would happen if you get too attached to them?

big part of me is telling me that i'll be seeing more and more of him from now.

the light in the opposite room next door just lighted up.

and heck i am getting freaking paranoid =.=

2010-06-09T19:08:00.003+08:00

I want to meet someone who looks like him... same eyes, same hair, same smile.

Same amazing sense of humor, but also the serious, dependable, caring side. I want him to smell the same, look the same, act the same, BE the same.

The only difference? I want him to love me back... For once.

---

that's for cassey.

and if one day we were to come across each other.

and he bloody as hell dont know what faith is,

i swear i'll throw my shoe at him.

2010-06-08T09:16:00.002+08:00

THIS IS SUCKISH!!!

WHY OH WHY OH WHY OH WHY OH WHY OH WHY

DOES THIS TYPE OF FUCKING THING HAPPEN AGAIN?!

OF ALL PLACES, WHY MUST IT BE HERE AT MMU?!!

WHAT THE FUCK LAH!!!!

I FUCKING HELL HAVE NO CONNECTION WITH ALL OF THIS!

FUCKING HELL DIDNT!

AND HE GOES AROUND TRYING TO FIND ME!!

IVE BEEN TRYING To CONTACT JAQ TRYING TO COVER BUT

SHE CANT PICK UP!!!

AHHHHH!!!! I DONT WANT TO MEET WITH HIM LAH!!!

PLUS IM THE ONLY PERSON FROM SAWARAK,

SO THAT MAKES ME EASIER TO FIND!!!

AND THEN SHE TOLD ME YTD,

THAT HE'S STAYING SAME FLOOR WITH ME

JUST THAT AT THE BOYS SIDE!!

JUST OPPOSITE MY ROOM PART SOME MORE!!!

MEANS THAT EVERYDAY OPEN WINDOW

I WILL DEFINITELY SEE HIM!!!

WALAO EHH!!!

CRAZY LAH!!!

AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

WHY OF ALL THE TIMES SOME MORE?!!

EVERYTHING IS ALL SO HECTIC AND DAMN FRUSTRATING!!!

2010-06-05T22:06:00.004+08:00

this is so crappish.

it was okay for all of the subjects to cramp on monday.

OKAY.

and heck, i dont mind the other two on wed and thrus

having the other two days off, is just FINE by me.

BUT ANNOUNCING THAT COM APP CLASHING?!

YOU PPL GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!!

i thought like so free till all FOSEE students got plenty of study hour

AND THEN TODAY GO KACAU THE WHOLE THING AND

CHANGE THE WHOLE TIMETABLE!

APALAH!

with the lousy internet connection here, im getting more and more frustrated.

and the clubs all all so active.

dang it! this sem like so pack!

hopefully next sem would be something to look forward too

CGPA 3.6, I'LL KEEP ON CLIMBING!!!

2010-06-04T15:20:00.003+08:00

i just finished orientation today

just now when to U to register the courses.

all students must register online with ICEMS.

seriously no joke ah =.=

lecture notes and timetables all upload at student portal.

OC's told us that they have to check mmls at least 10 times a day to keep update with lecturers.

=.=

so tiresome!

just now came back check my mmls, they say course not yet register yet =.=

apalah!

freaking internet connection =.=

i cant even surf the net properly.

feel so bored here =.=

later see if kim got time then i follow her out

better start to learn how to mingle more

im an onion. onion.

ones gotta peel me of slowly at a time =.=

but im joining tht club anyway, so no biggie.

here's what K5 and the rest put up on youtube.

i'll definitely miss the OCs

especially andrew, K5 and faezah :(

so memorable. all the jokes and those annoying opposite games

and all of those funny names they came up.

i love the way how andrew reminds us to clap

*oi, clap la!*

gosh, i'll miss them :(

yesterday the OCs cried the ones that were graduating.

faezah has been a big help all this while.

i'll miss her.

and who wouldnt miss K5's rant on how many inches of heels his shoe has :(

gosh, andrew and K5 made the best jokes around blue.

especially with the height issue.

hahahaha

so i think tht will be it for today.

now better wait for packed monday :(

2010-05-15T20:15:00.002+08:00

omg!

of all the times in my life!!

jaq started Form 6 this week and she told me that JJ also joined!!
GAHHHHHHH!!!

I WENT HYSTERICAL WHEN I RECEIVED HER SMS!!

yes, yes. i know =.=

i have promised myself never to set foot in Form6

but to just look at that coincidence!

UMPH!

bahh who am i kidding, i wouldnt go.

YET OF ALL THE YEARS!!!!

AND THEN YESTERDAY SHE SMSED SAYING

SHE SAME CLASS WITH HIM SOME MORE!!!

AHHHHH!! JJ! WHY?! WHY?! WHY???!!!

WHYYYYYYY???!!!!!!

but alas im heading to Malacca,

and its goodbye all :(

i'll sure be missing a lot of stuff around here.

especially mum's cooking no doubt and all of those places i used to go too

i definitely have to be expose

enough with Baba Nyonya culture.

Plus its a historical city, who aint excited.

well, just the thought of me going their alone that is.

a.l.o.n.e

A.L.O.N.E!!!!

dad told me i'll be room-mating with a senior

and that the hostel aint providing any mattresses.

thats the big problem now :(

i have 13 more days!

13 more days!

wished i could just stay here :(

its just so comfortable at home and it just makes me hard to leave it just yet.

Anyway,

here's this week quickie :)

Gerry and Trey!

Flower and Bud

---

Hey Jordan!!! Joooordaaannn!!!

Gimme a chance already!

Lets show more about Trey..

nobody likes a tease gurl xD

hahahaha better luck next time Trey

yes, it might not be at all that originally

i was capturing Trey's attitude to be as that

and im happy with the way it turn out.

ive notice that im lacking Ray and Sam

but it wont be very long until we'll see them around :)

alrighty i''m off!

2010-05-06T00:01:00.011+08:00

OKAY! OKAY!!

HERE'S THE THING!!

*EEEEEKKK*

this few days i've been having these crazy random ideas;

just forming constantly(& irritatingly) in my head!!!

i fought hard to resist the urge to pick up some bloody pencil and

draw like my life depends ON THAT PIECE OF PAPER!

IM SUPPOSE TO READ!!!

AHHHHHHHHH!!!

alright, gotta cool down. cool down!

eeeekk!! alright! back to the main point! back! BACK!!!

i blame my mental self for coming up with such ideas

at times when im keeping myself occupied!!

after seeing, reading and gaining a few crack lines(/+ ideas)

from people and events last few weeks,

I HAVE NOW DEFINITELY DRAW THE LINE!!!

ive been itching to get back into comic drawing.

but i guess i'll put that aside for a while.

maybe a few weeks before leaving, if i have the time that is :(

seeing how pack things are right now,

i have planed to start from the basic.

i'm guessing that im sticking with five new characters.

i'll try to carry them with me when i'm in U.

and maybe one day, one day.. resurrect Kuiji & Sen back

from my comic dump, only God knows where =.= .

the disney-style type of drawing takes quite much time to get used to,

but its worth with the various expressions one can make

unlike my previous pieces (& ITS FUN!) :)

i wont be posting it in dA, but here or elsewhere.

The five of them;

they were form by tiny(little-bity) ideas in my mind

and then i eventually set how the five would look(for now) :)

but! i must admit,

drawing the same and constant face had ever always been my strong point.

and i think their clothes and hair styles will

eventually change along the coming years.

cause it seems at this point, im trying hard to make up my mind.

and so *giggles*

i present you my fabulous five :DD!!!

i would like to point out ONE MAIN thing;

Trey and Ray are twins and Ray's the younger bro by 2mins.

one could tell the difference of both by the hair or

the coloured clothes they wear.

here's a list of personalities i've come up with in the mean time:

Trey : Carefree/flirt

Ray : Innocent/shy

Jordan : Sassy/laid back

Sam : Calm/perv

Gerry : annoyed/keeps-to-self

Trey is the everyday playboy. He's a charmer and scores big time -always.

He is all for Jordan (Or just any chick) thought he gets a bit questionable.

He gets jealous easily when Jordan's grows closer to Ray.

Her lack of interest only gets him frustrated at times.

Him getting just near Jordan pisses Gerry off.

He gets along with Sam very well.

Trey gets stressed out easily when his mum calls.

Jordan is somewhat laid-back at times.

She's closest to Gerry and goes/does things always with him.

She has a soft spot for Ray, being the innocent guy he is

and shows no interest in Trey's flirting.

The girl has a very short attention-span

and only does something if she sets her mind into it

plus, she's a 'drunkoholic'.

Sam is bi, but he's gay for Ray :3

He's a complete flirt and hits just about anyone.

This friendly pervy gentlemen practically struts around

in his swaggery way where ever he may tred.

He's closest to Trey, they both are almost alike.

Friendly to Gerry, though the guy barely acknowledges him.

and definitely, likes anything related with Ray.

Ray being the sweet innocent heart that he is,

is damn confused.

Unlike Trey, he has no interest like his brother

and rather spends time by himself.

He looks up to Jordan and is close to her.

He avoids Sam at all cost

and is somewhat uneasy around Gerry.

And for Gerry,

here's a brief example..

He wont talk to anyone unless he has to.

He gets real piss off with Trey for even landing a finger on Jordan.

He's one of Jordan's best friends and

no one knows his sweet side better than her.

----

This thought came to me as i was babysitting.

THE DREADED CALL FROM MUM!!

and we all know how Trey fears...

nuff said xD

----

A piece of Trey and Jordan.

Her face looks different here D:

im trying hard to keep the constant look!!!

----

More and more of Trey!!

I HAD SO MUCH FUN DOING THIS PIECE!!

i randomly selected a cloud picture for texture and taadaaa!!

i cant help but feel oso happy with the light-fading effect!

---

AND HERESSSS...

i get so influenced with all the events and things that

happened this few days D:

hope to make at least, maybe a comic strip soon.

but i guess for now its back to reading :(

wish me luck!!!

2010-04-29T19:16:00.008+08:00

i took time and sat down with Lena today.

i accompanied her as she watched the princess and the frog

my head was telling me it was definitely a bad, bad, bad, humongous idea

incase of some inner child-self of mine get all warped

up in some childhood fantasy.

with that so-called moto

'every girl has a prince charming and he will guarantee come'.

YES!

that will definitely be in my head.

again.

hahahahaha

BUT! BUT!

i put that aside, and felt that i was missing all of those

2-D animations from disney.

this few years were all from pixar and

i just missed seeing the 2-D animation type you know.

AND GOODNESS!!

THE STORY WAS SO SWEET!

DEFINITELY A FAV!!

PLUS, PLUS, PLUSSSSS!!!

NAVEEEEEEEENNN!!!! GAWD!!!

FIRST PRINCE TO EVER, EVER, EVAAAAAAAA

HOLD/PLAYED AS 2nd MAIN CHAR!!!

and that heartthrob smile of his xD

best PRINCE among all i'll tell you!!

yes, yes, i'm 18 and i should be over by such stories

but its these stories that i grew up with and yes,

placed its mark in a small special place in my heart :)

aww and the part when Ray sung about his love for Evangeline,

that was the most precious, preciouss love song i ever heard in my life;

and it made me sentimental (besides

once upon a time in beauty and the beast).

the thought that Evangeline was a star and he's some firefly,

the ending made me feel so overwhelm :D

aww Ray!

Naveen here was just so funny in a way that made him looked so sweet!

"if i can mince, you can dance."

awwww, this stroy is just so special.

not the middle-aged kind, but more to the 1900.

its old school disney i tell ya!

truly amazing!!

GOSH GOSH, LETS NOT FORGET CHARLOTTE!!

THIS IS BY FAR MY FAVOURITE PART!!!

ITS SO FUNNY!!!!

i thought she would turn out as the evil jealous step-sister type

but in the end, she's sooo one of my fav's

Charlotte and big daddy are one of the great likeable characters made by Disney!!

and i'll be off, drowning myself with a few certain songs.

namely Ma Belle Evangeline!

2010-04-25T21:48:00.008+08:00

you know.

it just sucks when you know how much it stings.

how much it stings that 'some' people;

yes. if you do ever read this, im exactly referring to you.

not that i ever shared with you abt my blog link at the moment but i dont care!!

im just getting fed up!

fed up of your f*cking attitude!

HONESTLY!

ON A SCALE OF ONE TO TEN,

HOW MUCH RATED AM I A FRIEND TO YOU EXACTLY?!

it just hurts sometimes.

you were always dependent on me in things

you dont wish to share, no, NO!,you dont wish to tell

those 'so-called' friends of yours about all those hard problems you face.

you come to me.

and i willingly.

AS A FRIEND!

willingly listen.

oh why do i bother.

you've gotten me so frustrated this few days that it just made me realise again;

as if im

some piece of tissue which you use(called), blow(spill everything out)

and then never picking it up again.

AS ALWAYS!!!!

need i say more about our friendship?

must i?

ive never been honest with you.

never.

about that SELF-CENTERED

BULLSHIT!

ATTITUDE OF THAT JACKASS SOUL OF YOURS!

AND I'VE NEVER BEEN SO DISAPPOINTED AND SO ANGRY WITH YOU!!!

you know what.

i may not have been the best so call adviser of yours.

thing is, you'll follow 'theirs' eventually some how.

i know i could never be as great as they are, but i know one thing.

i dont mock you AT ALL after all of these years!!!

i never said it straight to your face!!!

NOT LIKE THEM!!!

its just devastating.

i really wanted to meet you!

i really wanted to see you!

i really wanted you to at least just listen to me

and instead of being so frank with all of those outcomes which i know that's going to happen,

you would somehow tell me its okay.

that things would eventually be okay.

not pilling up almost ever possible unfortunate event thats GOING happen.

i know you're telling the truth

but if you look at my point of view, i never did even brought up what would happen

when you told me about things, yes?

its only after i calmed you down a bit and

even if i did, my tone wasnt as frank as yours all the time.

that dumb stupid promise about being bff's.

HOW MANY YEARS WAS THAT?!

EIGHT?!

I'VE KNOWN JAQ FOR MORE OVER THAN ELEVEN YEARS

AND YOU KNOW WHAT?!

EVEN IF I WASNT AS CLOSE TO HER BACK THEN,

SHE HAD DONE ME A GREAT FAVOUR IN LIFE

AND THAT WAS TO LISTEN!

TO BE THERE, WHEN I NEEDED SOMEONE TO HEAR ME!!

SHE HAD NEVER INTERRUPT ANY OF MY WORDS!

SHE JUST LISTENED UNTIL SHE GETS THE WHOLE PICTURE

UNLIKE YOU!

sometimes i wonder why do you switch the topic to you eventually.

truth is,

all those dreams you have

about making a band, preforming and all.

it was pointless.

ive known that.

but i kept my mouth shut.

i mean, how on earth do you think that could happen?

its some childish fantasy of yours and you know what,

I DONT GIVE A DAMN!

and about how hot edward cullen is, or whatever his real name was,

I DONT GIVE A DAMN EITHER!!!

you can go crap there and its almost everytime

i ask myself.

why do i bother tolerating with you talking about your interest, and not mine/ours.

talking about your likes, and not mine/ours.

talking about your dreams, and not mine/ours.

talking about you and more crap from you.

i wished you'd listened to me.

i always hoped.

but it had always turned out like that.

you dont care if i go.

you dont care.

i told you to just at least meet up somehow, but you said no.

when i even state i was leaving,

the message you wrote back were as if you didnt care.

i was hoping like every other friend you did.

that even if it was for a while, we would see each other and say our wishes.

i could see it you know.

they way you treat them and me.

a big difference.

my heart is broken in a lot of ways as i am writing this.

we are all suppose to have one very important friend to count on so much in life.

i thought i had one.

i thought i did.

im sorry if i wasnt as smart as you

or wasnt in the same class as you.

but those are childish matter.

with those you care about, you can talk to them with just about anything.

and all i got from you was, more you.

im hurt.

hurt that, thinking all of these years you were someone i had always counted on

but weren't.

that, i wasted my time befriending someone like you.

girl, you havent seen that day yet.

i've been here, ever since michiee left.

and i was the closes to you in primary.

closes wee thing you ever had.

i had always been there.

but i dont know if you ever looked out for me in the same way.

maybe

one day when you feel the whole world is against you

and if you do contact me and asked me to help you

you wont reach me.

cause i know by that time,

i wont be there.

2010-04-21T00:26:00.005+08:00

driving test will be around this Thursaday :(

am feeling the bloody pressure!!!

i'm still not confident at the round-about and the hill part!!

argh!!!

tomorrow would be the last lesson :(

best make it worth while.

and jaq randomly smsed said she got dip for MMU

now, i guess all that concerns her is where to stay.

if all the hostels are fully book things would be a problem that is =.=

feeling so frustrated about getting the things done this few days.

this Saturday making the coat already DD:

plus i have basic law reading somemore.

but i honestly cant get those words they twist =.=

i can do it.

optimistism.

i have to be optimistic!

I CAN DO IT!

OTHER PPL CAN, AND I'LL EVENTUALLY WILL!

AND SO DOES FOR MY DRIVING TEST!!!

=.=

god who am i kidding.

=.=

time is wasting

i side-tracked my 'reading list' everyday..

and then go and pick up pencil and sketch book =.=

i'm a mess.

it just sucks when you suddenly get a few neat ideas

when you're in the middle of 'work' =.=

BULLLLLL!!!!!!

i was so caught up with it this few days, that i let it get me!!!

here's one piece.

worked for it a day!!! i promise!!!

i tried it from another way of drawing

I still love how this turned out though I didn't give it much attention

and i know, if i were to view this next time

almost every single flaw would be blurted out. =.=

and yes, body posture seems different.

trey should be a bit more buff looking DD:

& for jordan mostly. i didnt like it the way it turned out,

but as i was using a pencil that time;

so i didnt bother use a rubber for fear incase there's some smudge pencil stain =.=

so i left it like that,

but i think i should've made her waist slightly 'shapier' though.

i'll call this piece a sample of those soon to be characters,

but im sure i'll make Trey have that well-known shaggy look xD

am still trying to find that right look for jordan :(

and their outfits too.

ahhhhhh!

I HAVE TO GET BACK TO READING!!!!

2010-04-12T12:46:00.010+08:00

yesterday mum took me material shopping for the new black and white wardrobe look

and there's this freaking blister, 'sticking' out on my foot! >:O

and boy, was it killing me! i had hard time walking

and by the way some ppl looked at me ytd =.=

nuff said!

plus, i wont be as crazy as farrah posting pictures of things like that anywhere!

i feel so tired =.=

just woke up 2 hours ago after last nights installment and updates.

dad bought a new notebook for me

it wasnt necessary. my Dell was just fine

but he insisted.

thanks daddy!!!

the whole thing seemed so delicate and really have to handle with care one

i'll post a picture of it some other time.

now what really concerns me is, using windows 7 :S

i have to get the hang of it by this may.

but still, :)

i couldnt just leave my Dell

hahahaha

this few days,

i feel like im turning into some housewife with nothing else better to do

=.=

its babysiting, and tv.

babysiting and tv.

and if wendy does come over, its

babysiting and tv and gossiping.

=.=

feel so old

as if the fact, im actually getting to that state already =.=

like what some housewives do.

was watching the good wife marathon on hallmark

and gosh, at first i told myself;

im only watching it so that im more expose into what im getting at.

but yet again, i found myself loving the show :))

i also finished a piece yesterday and decided to post it here now.

yes, my dA is barely updated

and i barely have time to use photoshop now. even if i do,

it'll take hours and still, it wont be finish yet.

but this piece was just a sketch with a pink pen.

and then i couldnt resist but add some colours to it :)

took 5 hours i guess.

but it turned out well enough.

dont bother the skecth lines.

originally was a sketch :)

i gotta find a way to update my dA acount.

with so limited time :(

and a big part of me is urging me to start a comic or some sort.

again.

kuiji and sen's till today havent finish! (5 years work - till date)

and so plus my script that day!!(4 months work - till date)

YOU SEE!!!

IM A MESS!!!!!!

2010-04-01T16:41:00.009+08:00

i came across this hilarious piece this morning!

+ i DONT own it!!!

what happens when..

of all the breakups in DA:O,

Alistair and those damn puppy eyes!

the whole process was just heartbreaking :(

i was just curious..

and my mouse was hovering on the

"we should end this now." option..

so i clicked

and then those sad puppy eyes bored through the desktop screen

and i found myself reloading back so fast! =.=

awakening expansion came last week and i didnt hesitate to install it.

was so caught up with MMU, i decided to put the game aside for a while

but was so tempt, using desktop with the game's icon just sitting there, calling to be clicked!!!

i only started playing on monday this week.

for origins, i went through the main human noble ending

kicked Loghain & Arl Rendon Howe's Ass,

stopped the blight,

married Alistair,

became queen,

and for that double back crossing Anora,

SERIOUSLY!

I HAVE NEVER WANTED TO PUNCH

A VIDEO GAME CHARACTER MORE IN MY LIFE!!!!

in the end, i had her imprison. *pleased smile*

plus, during awakening prior before FEM!Pc*Cousland headed to Amaranthine,

we meet up with Rendon Howe's son, and boy, was he a pain in the ass =.=

Nathaniel Howe : So you're the commander of the Grey wardens. weren't you suppose to be 10ft tall, with lightning bolts shooting out of your eyes.

FEM!Pc*Cousland : The darkspawn at least think so. Who are you anyway?

Nathaniel Howe : I am Nathaniel Howe, son of Rendon Howe.

FEM!Pc*Cousland : *pursed lips*

Nathaniel Howe : YOU MURDERED MY FATHER!!!

FEM!Pc*Cousland : WELL, HE DESERVES WHAT HE GOT! YOUR FATHER KILLED MY FAMILY AND WHOLE OF HIGHEVER ALTOGETHER WITH THEM!!!!

Nathaniel Howe : YOUR FAMILY WERE PLANNING TO SELL US TO THE ORLESIANS!!!!

FEM!Pc*Cousland : MY FAMILY SIDED WITH THE KING! YOUR FATHER WAS A TRAITOR AND HE BROUGHT HIS END ALL ONTO HIMSELF!! I SHOWED HIM JUSTICE!!!!

*Howe-Cousland deadly stare-down*

Anders : Awkkkwaaardd.

Ogrhen : Sod it, mage. Cant you see it's getting to the good part. Before ya know it, they'd be ripping each others heads off. that'd be some scene, i'll tell'ya.*burps*

that was just epic xD

but you know, when Nathaniel joined my party, he wasnt that bad.

if the PC works on being nice to him, Nathaniel sheds his exterior to reveal that he's not that bad of a guy after all...

alot better than his dad actually, and a sweet gentlemen on the side.

i traveled with Anders, Ogrhen and Nathaniel and yes, the four of us do make a great team!

Aimo here definitely gave a scenario that is almost 100% in universe,

i.e. believable. I could totally see this happening.

Her Pc dwarf(Sorsha) Aeducan with DA:Awakening companions

Artist's Comments

Awakening comic (no spoilers), featuring the hawt men such as Nathaniel, Anders, and Oghie.

Title: Hot Bath

Rating: Barely PG. Slightly NSFW due to implied bathtime nudity, so do view in public with a little caution.

Description: Commander Aeducan and her companions enjoy some downtime at the Keep's hot spring baths. Naturally, mischief brews on the men's side.

I couldnt agree more how true this it!

HAHAHAHA!

Anders's grin in the last panel! THAT FAMOUS GRIN OF HIS GETS ME EVERYTIME!!!

other than BioWare's flaws with the bugs, i'm glad to say that

there's more depth between the party memebers this time :)

and im off! received the envelope for MMU today

now's the time for FORM FILLING!! DD:

2010-03-29T13:03:00.002+08:00

dad dropped a boomshell this morning

but before that he told me that IXORA called and

asked if he could make bookings for the room earlier.

and then dad called me and asked if i wanted single room or a shared one.

then i asked, if there were such a thing as rooming with a friend,

seeing that a few days ago i heard students were shuffled randomly into each rooms.

he called and confirm with them and they said can.

THEN I CALLED JAQ!!!

and jaq told me she was still waiting if she can get business in melacca there.

but she told me to just book the room anyway.

then i called dad.

and all of a sudden when he picked up the phone

he told me i got accepted into MMU.

he was so eager tht he called them =.=

he couldnt resist waiting for another week i guess.

and i started screaming hysterically on the phone

and started jumping up an down

and dad on the other line was like

"SHH!! PPL HERE CAN HERE YOU!"

i'm not sure if he called some where in the meeting room or at lunch

but i was aware that i screamed really loud.

and grandma who was sitting in the living room,

thinking it was jaq or someone girl tht called,

seeing me break into some teenage frenzy, jumping and hoping and whatnot,

was all wide eyed and made sharp comments saying girls are not suppose to act like tht.

aft i put down the phone, she asked what all the commotion was all about

so i told her and she cant help smiling and then mum called.

i answered and shrieked excitedly again.

gosh what a day

was so frust last week just thinking of the mere chances i could enter.

and i manage too!

its all a gift from heaven.

i couldnt thank anyone more than God himself.

THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU!!

i promise to put ALL of my effort in this!!!

2010-03-16T18:50:00.002+08:00

did some real hard shell thinking just now :(

i decided to drop

game designing;

film and animation;

digital art;

software and animation;

virtual multimedia;

and software engineering.

DD:

was so sad just now.

kindda cried back there seeing that i cant major in those things.

but, i know its for the best.

IT here would be great in a few more years.

10 or 20 or so, but not now.

i decided to go to MMU.

and i'm taking up law.

looking at the prospects in life,

its better.

and its hello to rules, law and back to history

seriously.

i thought i ran away from tht when i left sch.

now its back to square one all over again.

i know how much i hate it.

but yet, better push through my stubborn mentality.

dad said, there are high times and low times being a lawyer.

but, even at all cases, you obviously know where you stand.

and at least, im lucky be related to someone who had inspired me well enough.

im opening one of dad's book tonight.

AND A DICTIONARY WILL BE BESIDE ME ALL THE WAY!

thanks for everything dad.. :)

2010-03-12T22:39:00.002+08:00

OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD!

I JUST FOUND OUT TOA HAS CONTACT WITH UBISOFT!

UBISOFT!!!!!!!!

OMG! OMG! OMG! THAT COMPANY!!!!!!!

GAHHHHHHH!!!!

I CANT THINK STRAIGHT!!!!

MY HEAD WAS SCREAMING!!!

GOT CHANCE THERE!!!

UBISOFT! UBISOFT!!!

yes, yes. nvr played assasins creed :(

BUT MY CHANCE OF SHINING IS THERE!!!!

AHHHHH!!! MUU or TOA??!!

T.T

2010-03-10T00:47:00.009+08:00

a day left.. and its goodbye life T.T

feel so down :(

i was thinking of calling jaq just now to talk, but then didnt manage to..

pass few days ive been cramping every game, fanfic, book,manga and drawing in my small.. oh so very small little brain..

as if like tmr the world itself will end.

and then filling myself with cheery thoughts =3=

i need to get a grip =.=

*sigh* few hours ago cramped KH into my head

and those yaoi fangirls, oh my gosh of all the pairings man!

THTS JUST WRONG!

HAHAHAHAHA

my face so flush now!!!

and they made Demyx the cute little innocent guy

girls and their yaoi imaginations.. but *sigh* whats one to think with a group with 12 guys

BUT GOSH! THE PAIRINGS!!! I LAUGHED SO MUCH WHEN SEE!!

I just love Organization 13 xD

Demyx just so cute here and the dub was just awesome! i laughed so much when xemnas and xaldin rushed to him and larxene was just standing there dumbfounded!!!

you may pwned girl, but dem dem is just too innocent from the start xD

--------

THIS CLIP WAS JUST SO FUNNY!

i dont know how many times i squee-ed or how many times i laughed, but it was just so so funny

especially the part when Demy rushed to Lexaeus!

Demyx : Lexy! Lexy! Wait Lexy, its important!

Lexaeus: Oh, what Demyx, is Marluxia touching you again?

I LAUGHED SO LOUD THERE! OF ALL THE REPLIES! GOSH THOSE FANGIRLS!

And to the part when Demy looked for Marluxia!

Xigbar: In a magical land! with fairies and junk

THE VOICE!!! LAUGHED SO MUCH and to the part when he kicked the door!!!

and the look on Demy's face when Vexen explained his question, i was so out of breath tht time

and and!!! 4:02 - 4:13 gosh, epic scene man. seriously, that was just epic. ahhh Luxord xD

+ + demyx question thus result the next sceen LOL!

-----------------------------------

this vid is just so funny, a scene between demyx and xigbar

yes, its probably the most gay-ess thing of all the Org13 members, other than those craze AkuRoku Post yaoi fangirls post all over the internet!

you know, just seeing two guys we love hug, and us fan girls starts to squee but well

i guess its just some craze instinct of ours :S

and i so love the face at 0:27 plus with the voice, i giggled so much back then.

--------------

YES! THIS IS JUST WRONG!!! WRONG WRONG WRONG!!!

But alas, my favourite character made an appearance! ROXY!!! I LOVE YOU!!!

0.30 Just look at his face when he found out the rumours were true! HAHAHAHA!!

PRICELESS MAN!!

-------------------------

And the final clip

0:24-0:25 TO DIE FOR!

and then and then! At 0:32

Xigbar : God damn Brit with his sparkling blue eyes, and clean cut platinum blond hair. The nicely trimmed goatee.. GAH! The womens... they love his CHARM!

Luxord : La la la bla bla bla TEA TIME!

Marluxia : *dead worried look* Are you putting whiskey in your tea?

Luxord : Noo, Darlinggg, its rum!

Xigbar : Oh My God!!! My first loss and it'll be to a blond!!!

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!

AND AXEL MADE AN APPEARANCE!!

SQUEEEES AT 1:50 sexy is finally back alright xD

and to the time when Zexion appeared, THEY TREATED HIM LIKE A 5 YEAR OLD!!

(twooth, twooth, twooth) HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Luxord : *Hic* OBJECTION!!!

gosh i love that part!!!!

Luxord : FAILLURE!! FAILLURE!!! OI OI!! XIGBAR!!!*USES CHAIR AND POKE*

Xigbar: ...

Luxord: YOU FAILL! FAILLLL!!!!

the commercial was awkward alright, but gosh did it made sense in some way! and plus, everybody just love Demy!

The whole thing was just epic! HAHAHAHAHA!!

CREDITS GOES TO SPOONYCHAN!!!! :DD

oh and yes yes, filled my final 'meant holidays' with laughter and some craze fangirl made up yaoi on the side. curse my bloody fangirl instinct.

AND THOSE BOYS "ARENT" LIKE THT! KYAAAAA!!!!!

BUT IT WAS SO FUNNY!!!

hahahahaha heck, what better way than to fill myself with laugher during this final days :D

and just dont get me started with AkuRoku.*Pushes thoughts*

if roxas has a heart, he would like namine and thats final + none of the fangirls in the world could get rid of tht! ;)

and axel, yes, he has every right to brag just how hot and better he is than sora or roxy! :P

muahahahahahaha! *fangirl squeeing moment*

ON TO THURSDAY!!!!!!

2010-03-06T02:33:00.003+08:00

omg! wow wow wow wow!

THIS IS JUST SO AMAZING!

COLAB WITH LEAD WRITER DAVID GAIDER AND AIMO!!

OMG! OMG! OMG!!

JUST LOOK AT IT!!!

[link]

i love all the expressions. Aimo really did capture those part.

its a scene before the climax actually starts.

its just sad when Alistair is in a romance with your PC and then Morrigan comes over and ruins everything with her so call 'plan'

i was completely aware of that part before i started playing the game.

its just so of Bioware to twist the whole thing up, not to mention Morrigan was my PC's bestie,even if she was the complete troll in the party.

but i guess, there's some peace to it anyhow.

David Gaider written it, and Aimo set the whole thing out, so i guess, fangirls would know that Morrigan's not quite an utter bitch in the game, since now we all have a more bigger view on her at this point.

and results coming out on the 11th!

GYAAAAA!!!!

*BREATHE!* *BREATHE* *BREATHE*

+ i found myself going back and looking through all of those KH stuff.

and you know, *Slaps self*

i seriously have to cut this fangril craze thing

I HAVE TO GET A LIFE!

I'M GETTING OLDER!

GAHH!!

who am i kidding =.=

will be working with those things anyway

getting into multimedia and that's finalll~!

But OMG OMG OMG!!

AXEL!!!! *SQUEEEEEE*

HIS ATTITUDE IS LIKE SO BAD BOY TYPE BUT SUCH A SOFTIE IN THE MIDDLE!

*SQUEEEEEEEEE*

2010-02-27T09:14:00.002+08:00

Lady Cousland return back from Ostagar

AND CAME OUT AWESOMER!

NEXT EPIC DARKSPAWN SLAYING!!!

2010-02-24T00:20:00.003+08:00

i drove!!!!

FROM HOUSING AREA TILL CENTRE THERE!!!

MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

SO LUCKY TRAFFIC LIGHT ALL GREEN!

MUAHAHAHAHAHA!!

was so nervous at first.

wasnt at all good with the clutch and placing the gear properly

and then when drove, sophia assist!!!

she told me she help me break!

all i had to do is change gear and press the gas at first!!

i grip the steering wheel so tight,

so nervous on main road till didnt even dare give way to ppl

coming out from corner!

and then at the round about

awkward moment there =.=

i didnt know where the signal was

instead i turned 0n the wiper :S

so awkward!!!

and then at the centre, sophia taught me how to reverse parking

it was okay, i guess

just that my breaking problem :S

oh and most possibly spm out next week

but jaq assured me it wont out till plkn all finish.

which, made me think again

since marking gred already change..

so what if, release date also change?!

AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

I'M SERIOUS OF GETTING INTO MULTIMEDIA!

MMU OR TOA?!

CANT THINK! CANT THINK!!!

2010-02-21T10:36:00.003+08:00

AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

IM GOING OUT OF MY MIND!!!

SCREW DRIVING TOMORO!

I DONT CARE IF ON ROAD OR WHAT!!!

MUM WENT HER SCH YTD

AND THEN SHE TOLD ME STPM RESULT OUT NEXT WEEK

SO MEANS THAT SPM RESULT

MIGHT OUT NEXT NEXT WEEK!

STPM AND SPM FEW DAYS APART ONLY!!!

MY HEART SANK WHEN HEAR!

AND THEN AT NIGHT I RECEIVE MSG FROM BEA

TOLD ME 24TH OUR RESULT SHIPPED HERE

AND THE 16MARCH THEN OUT!

AND NOW READ SOMEWHERE ITS GOING TO BE ON THE 14TH

WTH LAH!

I NEED A SPECIFIC DATE!!!

GOING CRAZY AROUND HERE!!!

AND MY GAME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

I NEED RESULT DAY DELAYED!!!!

AT LEAST GOT PEACE WHEN PLAY!!!

SERIOUSLY DONT FEEL NICE!

SEEING MUM AND DAD SO EXCITED

AS IF I CAN MOVE THE MOON LIKE THT!

SO HECK EMOTIONAL!!!!

YTD LOCK SELF IN ROOM AFT JUST HEARING IT

DUNNO HOW MANY TIMES BREAK DOWN!

I HAVE PLENTY OF THINGS TO THINK OF!

AND THEN PAST THINGS EVENTUALLY DUG UP!

I REALLY DONT KNOW WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME!!!

SAD SAD ALSO LIKE, UNTIL EVERYTHING BROUGHT OUT!

LAST THING I NEED IS REMEMBERING WHAT HAPPENED.

AND THEN IM STARTING TO WONDER!

I STARTED THINKING THAT MAYBE I WAS USED TO THEM KNOWING.

MAYBE IT WAS THAT!

*CASSEY

*GRAPE

*JJ

ALL THOSE NICKS I GAVE!!!

AND THEN AFT LAST YEAR.

HALF OF ME WAS HOPING HE WOULD KNEW.

OH WHAT THE HECK!!!

ENOUGH!!!!

END IT ALL!!!

SPM RESULT CAN COME OUT TMR FOR ALL I CARE!

END THIS!!!

END THIS!!!!

5CREDITS AND I CAN IN ANY COLLEGE OT U!

5CREDITS!!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

FASTER COME!!!!!

2010-02-18T06:16:00.005+08:00

photoshoped the whole night

had been on it now for three days

can on desktop arnd midnight so i took chances =.=

here's the result for about, 18 hours? i guess :S

aft minutes of editing gone for hunting food, walking around

and talking to cats =.=

still not finish yet though

ugly lighting.

just cant seem to get tht candle's glow right

and how to fade some light ray :S

+ the comic script hanged some more =.=

i need other angle references.

feel so down right tired

and so lucky!

NO DRIVING TODAY!

HAHAHAHAHA!

IVE NEVER BEEN SO RELIVE IN MY LIFE!

THANK YOU, SOFIA!!!

U CAN TAKE UR HOLIDAY AS LONG AS U WANT!

I'LL TREASURE EVERY SECOND MINUTE AND HOUR

TILL THT DATE!!!

DONT CONTACT ME SO FAST!!!

MUAHAHAHAHA!!!

and im off to bed :DD

2010-02-17T22:42:00.002+08:00

WOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

IM FLYING OVER THE MOON!

MUAHAHAHA!

contacted sofia and she told me she havent start work yet

SO MEANS NO DRIVING TMR!!!!!

WOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

AND NOW ON WITH PHOTOSHOP!!!

2010-02-16T19:21:00.005+08:00

result almost out!

im going mad!

no decent peace, mind constantly reminding T.T

reminding..reminding.

i think i could go more crazy being alone like this.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

half of me died last night

realize forgot to fill in the 2nd form!!!

and it's way pass almost end FEB adi!!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

AND THEN AMAZON SHIPPING!!!

HOW CAN THEY STILL SAY CANT POST?!

I ALREADY HAVE THE ORIGINAL FROM THEM!!!

ITS THE SAME COMPANY PEOPLE!!!!!

COME ON!!!!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

boy last night got his half and already so happy

i just died there see him act like that!!

quickly went check Barnes and Noble

but only the ps3 version available!

I NEED PC!!!

PC!!!!!!

OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

EXPANSION, WHERE CAN I GET YOU???!!!!

or maybe it was still listed as pre-order?

last time i purchase 2 days before release.. so maybe?

BUT I CANT AFFORD TO BUY IT IN MID-MARCH!!!

AT TIMES WHEN MY SLIP IS BEING SHIPPED HERE

AND BEING PINNED UP ON SOME

NOTICEBOARD AT SCH!!!!

VIEW BY HUNDREDS OF PPL

OR THOUSANDS?!!!!

NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

GOSH IM GOING CRAZY JUST RAMBLING

AND THINKING OF EVERY POSSIBLE

OUTCOME THAT COULD HAPPEN!!!!!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

CANT THINK STRAIGHT!

GOT BOOKS TO FINISH!!!

A SCRIPT TO FINISH!!!

AND AT ALL ODDS, I DECIDED MAKING SOME INDIVIDUAL PIECE

AT THIS POINT!!!!!!!!!!

TIME SO LIMITED!!!

WILL STAY UP LAST, ACCOMPANIED WITH PHOTOSHOP!

BRUTAL SHADING AND LIGHTING!!!!

AND ON THURSDAY, IT'S STRAIGHT ON ROAD!

I'VE ENOUGH PROBLEMS WITH THE PEDAL!!

MIND SO PACK, CANT EVEN LIE DOWN AND SLEEP!

*STABS SELF*

2010-02-14T19:39:00.004+08:00

all of those bits of memories.

precious.

but painful to see.

a little piece of me had always been waiting.

even if the rest had let go.

you really do make me wonder sometimes.

why do i bother?

Happy Valentines Day.

to five years of nothing.

2010-02-14T01:59:00.006+08:00

aint it just sweet :)

CNY falls on Valentines day!

All right, people, say it with me! On the count of three!

One...

two...

three!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

its always during this festive season,

that i spend time in front of the tv

and wait for petronas's ad

was always looking forward to it

very touching and meaningful

CNY AD'S GET ME!! T.T

last year's was so teary

and this year was so sweet!!

Thank you Petronas! :)

Yasmin Ahmad would've been proud

2010-02-12T13:13:00.002+08:00

sch holidays now..

have very limited time on the desktop

both are playing T.T

and then, result out next month some more

having problem falling a sleep just because of it

probably i've develop insomnia :S

2010-02-12T12:33:00.002+08:00

OMG! OMG!!

I SAW ADAM LAMBERT'S SONG VID A FEW DAYS BACK

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

I NEVER LISTENED TO HIS MUSIC AT FIRST

AND THEN! AND THEN!!!!

THE VID!!!!!

HE PUT HIS HAIR DOWN!!!!!!!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

HE'S GORGEOUS!!!!

HOT AND GORGEOUS!!!

ESPECIALLY WHEN SITTING ON THE COUNTER!!!

PLUS WITH LITTLE EYE MAKEUP ON!!!

I HAD JUST ENOUGH TIME, JUMPING IN FRONT OF THE TV

AND SOME WHAT SCREAMING

"WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE GAY??!!!"

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

REALLY SO WASTE ONE!!! T.T

2010-02-05T22:20:00.003+08:00

oh what a day :D

went to aunt house today

was suppose to babysit lena

but then i make a quick stop at Wendy's

she called earlier and said she finished class early

and wanted to show me something

so i went.

at her house we both went into her room

and ask me close both of my eyes

i so blur that time and follow also

then aft that i heard her fiddling with the laptop

and she told me to listen carefully

see if i can guess who's voice

not even two words out from the fellow who was

talking i already started squeeing!

die-hard fangirl moment there!

MY BRAIN WAS SHORT CIRCUITING!

i opened my eyes and wendy joined me squeeing also

and then we started hoping around

turning into hopeless teenyboppers!

definitely random moment

HAHAHAHAHAHA

i didnt expect i would hear Al's voice today :S

i did told wendy about the voice cast once

didnt know she was serious enough to go find!

though i did heard a few clips before that myself

*blushes*

I know it's completely nerd of me to like a NPC but..

(god, i have to hear this)

this is the best and most touching

romance storyline I had with Bioware DD:

after kotor2..

LIPS SEALED!!! ALL OF THOSE CUT CONTENT! T.T

Alistair=Atton Rand

i mean seriously. There is like...no difference.

I'm a wisecracking dude. But wait! I have a hidden past. Teach me to be a better man. I love you.
WHOO.

Alistair still follows the Bioware stereotype, but he actually has some depth this time.

and thus explains the squee(s)

TEAM ALISTAIR ALL THE WAY!!! xD

2010-02-04T18:34:00.008+08:00

downloading bar so slow =.=

and then i went into DA

SCREENSHOTS!!

VITARIA IS ALIVE AGAIN!!!

MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

2010-02-04T18:25:00.002+08:00

i just realized it would take a whole day

to download maple back!!!!

*SCREAMS FRANTICALLY*

2010-02-04T12:28:00.003+08:00

saw clip of Kotor2..

how and why the hell did Lucasarts allow it all to get cut and ruined?

were they insane? psychotic? deluded and delusioned?

THIS IS CRAZY!!!!

and i'll shut up now.

2010-02-02T22:17:00.003+08:00

:DDDD

MUAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!

TAKE THAT COMMY!!!

MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

INSTALLATION SUCCESS!!!

TAKE THAT! TAKE THAT!!

MUAHAHAHHAHAHA!!!

alright, i am done with my moment :D

WOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!

VITARIA, YOU'RE COMING BACK ALIVE!!!

WOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

i browsed through nexus network and then..

gahh!!!

[Link]

so tempt.. the mod.. so tempt..

in game hair choices so limited!! T.T

will be purchasing RtO tomorrow :DD

2010-02-02T17:24:00.003+08:00

feel so down T.T

ooohh noobish. noobish wheather

my shale DLC stuck at 1% T.T

and then RtO didnt appear in the downloadable content part

upset T.T

im being tempted with the mods :S

RESIST!!!!

2010-02-02T09:26:00.001+08:00

okay.. okay...

went emotional here T.T

2010-01-30T16:39:00.006+08:00

DLC "RTO" OUT ADI!!!!!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

OUT ADI!!!!

AND OF ALL THE TIMES!!!!!!

WHEN THE DESKTOP IS BEING REBORN!!!!!!!!!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

GOSH!!!!!

START FROM THE BEGINNING AGAIN!!!

FROM BEGINNING AGAIN!!!

vitaria, eyrella and cyrilla them ppl GONE!!!

GONE GONE GONE!!!

aft all those wasted hours and

a burn hardisk is what i got back =.=

calm down ele!

CALM DOWN!!

AND TMR!
I CANT PAY ATTENTION!

CAILAN' RINGING IN MY HEAD!!!!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

2010-01-30T12:27:00.003+08:00

i got hooked to the song =.=

ahhhhhhh

desktop is alive :D

MUAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!

boy so kind stayed up late with dad last night do.

2010-01-29T12:21:00.006+08:00

ahahahahahaaaa...

i am soooooo excited :DD

NICHOLAS SPARKS RELEASE THE MOTION PICTURE FOR HIS BOOKS ADI!!!

DEAR JOHN AND THE LAST SONG COMING OUT THIS YEARRR!!!

AND OMG!

IM A BIG FAN!!! BIG FAN!!!

*SQUEEEEEEEEEE*

read 'dear john' already. Awesome story, amazing book

ending part was soo..sooo... soooo sad T.T

im not suprise if they do change a bit of the plot =.=

like 'Nights in Rodanthe' that time :S

and then.. the last song..

i found the trailer last night

and i was speechless..

im not miley fan.. truth to be honest =.=

but ppl claimed nick wrote for her the script before the book was published.

so...sooooo... zipping mouth :X

OHOH!!!!

while browsing i also find one nice one

but still..

GAH! THEY GIVE A WAY SO MUCH IN THE TRAILER!!!

but awww...i really wanna see this :D

When in Rome played in US today, i think :|

now just waiting for the review...

com crash and im hunting movies.. :S

and now im off to bathe and

then going straight to Cindy's!!!

2010-01-29T07:11:00.001+08:00

tired :(

2010-01-27T10:44:00.003+08:00

desktop crash this morning T.T

worried need to reformat all again T.T

MY DLC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AFT ALL OF MY EFFORT!!!

dont tell me the money just fly away like that?! T.T

my heart sank just thinking about it.

if bioware's thinking abt downloading and not overwriting the disc

I'LL GO MAD!!!!

2010-01-27T01:49:00.002+08:00

decided to replay Vitaria T.T

im not looking forward to the deep roads part T.T

2010-01-27T00:02:00.002+08:00

ugh. i am so fed up!

FED UP I TELL YOU!!!

screwed my paper 5.

of all the times.

curse the pen.

curse it!
CURSE IT!!!

now all the scenes look so rough on that page.

wth la!

started page 7 just now.

and noticed couldnt get the figure right.

i hadnt picked up a pencil or pen in 2 days adi.

so surely not familiar again.

ARGHHHH!!!!

so much for a dateline on wed.

it's delayed again.

delayed.

damn pissed.

pray that i will have a wacom soon.

AND THEN NO MORE PENCIL, RUBBING AND SCANNING!!!!!

how on earth could i forget?!

2010-01-24T02:08:00.004+08:00

ARGH!!! IM GOING MAD!!!

back from the social network forum

i have 2 or 3 more papers to go..

but the script just hang like that T.T

today went to lim kok wing and attend a workshop by steven lejeune, 'Heroes' illustrator

he told us he draws but never even watched the series.

for he french guy he was quite bashful in some ways.

crack laughing certain times during his lesson.

and the whole thing was free ;D

i got some inspiration on certain angles

he told us to stress more on the background

seriously need to practice on 'perspectiveeee' =.=

was hesitating a while with my file.

wanted to show him some of my pieces but decided not to :S

drop the whole idea in the end.

amateur's work maybe? yet still..

im thinking about going into lead-character designing and basically do not take up anything with backgrounds at all.. and having connection in some way with multimedia designing.

was just a thought. being open.. opppeeennnn...

back to the script!

DA, DA, DA.. oh your dialogues are so oooh very longgg

cant think straight T.T

dateline.. on wednesday.

have to make it on wednesday.

wednesssdayyyy!!!!

2010-01-21T03:19:00.003+08:00

my books came adi!!!!

the scripts will have to wait a while.

artblock is soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo stressful.

i cant think of any angle else!

the few boxes left on the paper are blank T.T

i still have like.. like 2 or 3 more papers to go..

WHAT THE HECK LAH!!!!

feel like hitting my head on the wall till the idea comes out.

but the books..

ive waited long enough...

soooo..

I'LL BE A HERMIT FOR A DAY OR 2!!!!

OR MORE!!!!!!!!!!

MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

2010-01-17T01:50:00.010+08:00

it hasnt occur to me yet that it would be so soon..

jan's about to end and then a month left till result out.

yet im lost.

i really dont know what to take up now.

id never thought id see this day.

looking ahead and then knowing its about time not to look back.

one slip up and everything's gone.

i cant afford to make any other mistakes.

i went out and took a different view of kuching today.

and i note that i would miss certain things.

give or take, when the future comes, i wont be staying here anymore.

yes, i wonder.. should i get into multimedia?

half of me was thinking taking up diploma in information technology.

or something like that. and then go on from there.

was doing research throughout net.

MMU or One Academy.

im not sure.

Melaka or KL?

i cant pick.

and yet now, i ask myself.

am i really that serious taking it up?

am i serious?

Cindy once told me. if i were to take up something in designing.

it's making a living in Peninsular Malaysia.

Kuching has nothing for us.

there is no turning back after this.

i know its not something you just do halfway and give up on.

doing so, kuching will be missed.

people and things that i got to know.

what's only left are moments, memories and footprints planted in my heart.

its about time right?

to the moment where i wont look back and regret.

to the moment where i dont even bother to look back anymore.

even if it takes leaving kuching and all of it behind.

and knowing nothing else is a greater loss compare to that..

yes.

it's about time.

Dear Heavenly Father,

I pray, lead me down the right path.

Let me not to look back ever again, this time.

In Jesus name, I pray.

2010-01-16T12:03:00.000+08:00

other than babysitting..

IM JOBLESS!!!!

2010-01-12T21:13:00.004+08:00

staring at KPP's pdf file..

im suppose to study..

suppose...

s-u-p-p-o-s-e....

reading through the screen only blinds my eyes.

whatever happens, i'll sit for it once.

once and then no more.

wont look forward to 18hrs of driving.

phobia, you're definately going down!!!

screw ME2, am broke to bits.

DA:O Awakening, WAIT ME!!!!!

2010-01-02T17:39:00.003+08:00

me + 6hrs of lecture & road law

= PURE TORTURE!!

(massive headache + willingness to pull all of my hair off =.=)

2009-12-25T15:34:00.002+08:00

and so..

im rotting away :(

dunno where else to go already.

hais, needs more excitement in kch!!

THE PEOPLE NEEDS IT!!!

THE PEOPLE NEEEEEDDSSS IT!!!!

GOSH IM GOING INSANE!!!

I DUNNO WHAT ELSE TO DO!!

2009-12-25T15:23:00.001+08:00

she's screaming again..

scream scream scream.

swear one day her voice turn like guy.

then she'll know.

i HATE babysitting :(

2009-12-11T14:20:00.004+08:00

Lets put this in another way :)

I feel so alone, can't seem to find my out of this lone?

No, it don't seem right

I didn't have a chance to say goodbye.

In this this silent space, I close my eyes I can hear you say

That it's alright, but my world's such an empty place tonight.

Cause I know that, it's all part of life.

I wish I had the chance to say goodbye, yeah I still miss you.

So hard to see through the tears I've cried.

Yeah, I still need you.

Cause I don't want to, if I don't have to ever let you go.

The longest I'll hold on... God only knows.

As the time goes by, it gets a little easier to smile.
I know I'll never forget everything that you said.
You said it's alright, it's all part of life.

I wish I had the chance to say goodbye, yeah I still miss you.
So hard to see through the tears I've cried.
Yeah, I still need you.
Cause I don't want to, if I don't have to ever let you go.
The longest I'll hold on... God only knows.

{The hard times} will never fade if you keep looking up
Right around there is a better place if you believe in love.
Cause I know that, it's all part of life.

I wish I had the chance to say goodbye, yeah I still miss you.
So hard to see through the tears I've cried.
Yeah, I still need you.
Cause I don't want to, if I don't have to ever let you go.
The longest I'll hold on, the longest I'll hold on.
The longest I'll hold on... God only knows.
God only knows.
Ya, God only knows.
God only knows.

the lyrics and song was by Oriathi Panagaris.

Song has been playing in my head this few days.

new year's coming. we all learn to let go now, dont we.

i manage. :)

thank you for making my life worth while.

even if it was only for two years.

thank you.

I wish I had the chance to say goodbye, yeah I still miss you.

2009-11-30T18:05:00.000+08:00

7 more.

so soon.

i really dont know anymore.

2009-11-28T08:51:00.008+08:00

9 more days.

that fast.

everything will be over.

puzzles will just fall into place.

so maybe im acting like how i did last time.

so maybe i told myself not to care.

dear eyecandy,

But, have you ever thought about me?

everyday i told myself.

what i choose to believe were all lies.

what i choose to believe was never real.

would never happen.

and yet.

why am i still here?

hoping.

hopingg.

for some false hope or some sort of feeling

that would come from you?

why?

why do i always have that mentality

that you would be different?

WHY?!

why would i even think that way?

i was there. i was her.

no matter how much i try to get your attention.

you left me with doubt the next day.

i'm torn apart, dear ele.

the thought of you willingly..

willingly..

let your heart go to some boy like that..

sebak rasa hati.

i hate.

- - - - -

tears.

call me weird.

but those were them things that keep me held together.

at this rate i dont care.

im a mess.

a big darn mess.

i know that.

but i dont care.

cause things will always stay that way.

you forgotten about me.

you dont care anymore.

no.

im not blaming you.

it was all me.

it was all my fault.

the regret stays there.

it all stays there.

im staring at the phone, almost all the time.

thinking. hoping. at least.

something would come from you.

yet till today.

no.

my heart would have meant all of those things.

but it was always all too hard to accept the fact.

i always hoped you'd be different.

yet you were nothing less.

that made me.

felt distant from you.

i really dont feel welcome anymore.

it could be any girl.

but not either of them.

i dont want you to be with either of them.

especially her.

please.

i beg.

just not her.

of all the people in the world.

you can have.

just not her.

i beg you.

with all my heart.

i beg you.

so please.

help me lessen the pain.

the pain i had.

having to know, we were never meant to be.

to the boy who i never got to know.

its goodbye.

dear

dear eyecandy

for you will always stay that way.

2009-11-27T10:27:00.002+08:00

trap between the boarder of dreams and reality.

10 more days.

am i really willing to let it all go?

am i willing?

no matter what happens.

you left me with doubt the very next day.

10 more days.

let it all go?

i really.

really.

dont feel welcome anymore.

2009-10-22T16:51:00.006+08:00

breathtaking trailer!

*gasp* *gasp* *gasp*

HAHAHAHAHA!!!!

counting the days till nov.3

and spm's so so so ooo so very near...

aAaaaah...

and another great piece by aimo ;D

Alistair is so cute! HAHAHAHA!

cant stop laughing at this one. the 3rd and 6th panels were just great :DD

2009-10-22T16:41:00.005+08:00

wonder why ppl so dengki this few days..

learn to accept it bah, thats life.

others can, why cant u?

u wont get anywhere at this rate.

people have their reasons.

learn to grow up.

2009-10-11T02:41:00.013+08:00

i went tuition early today..

was suppose to meet jaq at GB's but she came late

so, i hung around there for a bit.

now looking back,

sitting around at GB's only got me all nostalgia.

you know, i guess i forgot how things felt like.

what it was like to hope.

what it was like to put faith into things.

what it was like to believe.

i missed those times.

being able to feel how it felt like, taking risks.

even if far, knowing that you were here was enough.

but i realize that now, maybe its true..

no matter how much i choose to ignore,

things between us will always stay that way now, yes?

with you leaving, going far, it is only then i realized

how much simple things that happened between us matter.

ivy told me her's was a changed.

to me, mine was a lesson.

with you, i learn.

and with you leaving,

you took all of those things away with you.

the hope i gave away.

the faith i put in.

all of the things i believe. gone.

you took it all away.

leaving an empty hole.

yet to me,

what's left is just total emptiness.

and just about any day, anytime i could break down.

maybe the pain is still there?

maybe it didnt go away?

but i thought it had learned all it's lesson.

so why did it choose to invite such feelings in back again?

hadnt it had enough?

we both had our share of heartbreaks.

its just that, you taught yours on me.

2009-10-11T01:09:00.002+08:00

went facebook arnd 3 in the morning ytd..

and its just so typical of me to just log in, quick look through and then log out.

but then, inbox caught my eye.

one new msg.

i clicked.

msg, titled, 'hai old fwen...'

clicked.

after reading, went totally emotional.

seven years. i thought she'd forgotten about me by now.

i thought it would be me, or ivy, or jaq or the gang to find her.

but it was all thanks to facebook.

the msg she sent was arnd august, and i replied just ytd!

it was shocking that she still remembered me

7 years is very long. and to think we would actually meet together again!

OH! HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY DAY!!!!

Michelle Ben, i miss you.

love you always, girl!

2009-09-27T11:29:00.007+08:00

and tomorrow's bio and chem..

oiyh. =.=

spm so near T.T

so so so very near! T.T

and i still got time getting excited for DAO release date =.=

went to BioWare just now, and Zevran's video is up and

BUAHAHAHAHA!!!

fangirls started squee-ing alright :DD

looks like Alistair's got competition~

HAHAHAHAHAHA!

another grand adventure from BioWare

with all of those memorable characters :))

2009-09-23T12:04:00.022+08:00

and it's on with SPORE!

heh, the cuteness of it all!!

that would probably take my mind of things a while :DD

i really didnt do that much this holiday :S

spend time draw, play and revise =.=

and its wednesday already,

oh, how fast time flies =.=

anyway, was browsing through Bioware just now

then noted DA's releasing date is on this nov :S

ugh, the time when spm's so near =.=

read one of the forums and ITS CONFIRM!!!!!

LIKE ALMOST ALL THE OTHER BIOWARE GAMES!!

*SCREAM!!!*

Aimo made a comic about it (below)

& I JUST COULDN'T WAIT ANY LONGER!!!!

TURNS OUT ALISTAIR IS CONFIRM AS ONE OF THE ROMANCE OPTION

FOR FEMALE CHARACTERS!!!!

HAHAHAHAHA!!!

HAHAHAHA! MAGIC WORD INDEED!!!

yet i feel a little sorry for Alistair.. poor guy!

heck, that was my reaction too! HAHAHAHA!!!

i don't think a girl ever really gets over her first Bioware romance.

i know i didnt ;DD

cant wait! cant wait! hahahahaha!

2009-09-21T11:31:00.003+08:00

yot has been sending me random smses

hahahaha

i dont know what's come up with that girl!

and jaq, she diam from the world this few days =.=

the only person who i contact would be ivy and deb

and there's farrah, amarina and sue with the raya greet.

and i guess, that's all :S

didnt go out yesterday, and i still havent get that non-blue pencil

so i've decided to put Revan and Malak aside a while

and do a short kuiji&sen heart-to-heart scene..

tho, i dont think it would be consider some short scene..

i've used 3 A4 papers already, so yeah,

probably the whole thing would be about 4-5 papers, wherever it stops.

and ish, that Techonographic!

i didnt know it moved!!!

was suppose to go to satok today to get, but its public holiday =.=

and deb starting to sms about jodoh again,

i told her that i dont believe such thing and now,

she's starting with all those lectures

aii, yot.

i got some random dream about Revan and Malak during the Mandalorian Wars,

where Malak's jaw got cut off.

saw Aimo's drawing till dream like that.

missing KOTOR so much T.T

now really dunno what to play other than maple

and even if i in, nobody on!

and im going to be cut from net by Wednesday onwards i guess

study books kept a side a while, yet i know spm coming so soon

spend my time sketching :S

and im off to continue

hahaha

2009-09-19T06:59:00.003+08:00

i slept early lastnight, arnd 7 and then woke up arnd 1 today

and then went down and on comp

played kotor 2 and finished it

im upset that most cutscenes were cut from the game :S

if only there was more interactions between the characters.

it be interesting to see were that leads to, whether exile followed Revan's path

and leave the rest behind.

okok, better stop menitioning about Kotor, but in the end

turns out i became a fan girl tho :S

desperately in need of a non-photo blue pencil!!!

and then maybe get a few more art tools!

was planning to go to seberkas later, get few art supplies.

kuiji and sen have been haunting me,

cant get work done, thinking about those two..

amarina and jaq are a bit upset that i hanged the story

the ending's set in my head already, is just the cuts of getting there that's still blank.

its passed 4 years already and the both of them are still strong

or maybe its just me who keeps delay =.=

no matter, i will eventually get back to them again :)

right now im skecthing some scene that's been bothering me

practicing on the background also

but kuiji and sen, hais, maybe i'll do a little skecth on them this hols

wanting to keep them alive.

and about mj's thisisit movie,

was thinking whether should see or not,

its nice to see him so lively before he died, and the preformances

but the thought about people making money out of his death?

seriously having second thoughts.

bringing Revan and Malak out of my head and onto a paper!

2009-09-16T17:12:00.024+08:00

OH OH OH!!!

I FOUND IT!!

FEEL SO OVERLY-EXCITED RIGHT NOW!!

OH, MICHAEL JACKSON I MISS YOU!!!

I MISS YOU!!

WE MISS YOU!!!

THE WORLD MISSES YOU!!!

ITS COMING OUT!!! AND SO SOON!!!

DEFINITELY WATCHING THIS!!

DATE SO NEAR SPM!

JUST AROUND THE CORNER!

BUT I WILL!!! I WILL FIND A WAY!!!

BUAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

jaq knows how crazy i am about MJ till

stayed up whole night watch his memorial service and didnt go school

yeah.. but its not everyday someone who made a big impact on the world dies

especially through music..

hmm.. yes, MJ music broke boundaries..

dad loved Billie Jean and played it the day MJ died

and i, kinda got hooked to it

hahaha

the song had a beat that made me followed

&& i love Man in the Mirror !!

the lyrics are so meaningful!!

broke down another time during end part of the memorial service,

when the instrumental version played on a lone microphone standing in the spotlight, center stage.

and the audience is left feeling his presence there on that stage..

knowing that that was indeed Michael Jackson's final show.

that he's gone..

and the fact that nobody would thought it would end that way.

MJ left too early,

even if i didnt really know him a few years back

and if he was still alive now, that would have been enough.

at least he lived.

and i feel bad for being those type of fans who only

then realize how much he had given after he died.

it was his death that made me realize

he was someone so talented yet so fragile in life.

it was by his death, i spend hours on the net reading all about him

and then, get to know his music after hearing a few and Billie Jean .

which leads me into buying

MJ commemorative issue magazines,

from Life, Times, Rolling Stone.. and few more

cost me quite a lot, but it was worth it..

every cent of it, i dont find it wasting, its just something to keep,

to remember him by...

god, i feel guilty, really do feel guilty.

before that i barely knew that he invented the moonwalk..

aii... it's embarrassing to admit.

good people wont live long in this world, that i know.

he changed the face of music.

he moonwalked himself into stardom.

he gave a lot to the world,

but people never bother to do the same to him back..

its sad to look back, that he was always a tortured soul..

but MJ was always loved by many..

MICHAEL JACKSON I MISS YOU!!!

really really want to see the movie with this great footage of him!

Definitely will be seeing it, maybe more than once.

And will get the DvD too.

&& i cant wait for those unreleased songs ><

SMOOTH CRIMINAL JUST MADE MY DAY!!!

i love you, Michael Jackson..

long live the KING OF POP..

May you rest in peace...

* * *

REST IN PEACE

MICHAEL JACKSON

(1958 - 2009)

2009-09-16T16:16:00.002+08:00

Lena has been screaming for hours and hours

thought i could at least get some sleep today

but cant :S

makina and diza wnt hospital today, so she's force to stay put here

ive done babysitting

need sleep

can feel eye bag

speaking of which, yesterday, had another reflex thing during chem paper

my eyelids felt heavy, yet i told myself not to dose off

then somehow, i did and it took me not more than 3 seconds to realize that

the table shook violently + i was sitting in front some more

all heads turn, so yeah, im embarrassed :S

then aft paper me and jaq went toilet

i asked her if the sound was loud,

she said yes

and she knew i was dosing off

ugh! this is the second time!

WHY WHY WHY??!!!

feel so sleepy

Lena keep on screaming

aii.. so ear-piercing

i was joking with boy earlier,

that maybe she big next time her voice wrongly crack

and she would sound like a boy..

oooh, that would be the day.

okok, im being mean, hais

told her to keep quite but she kept on repeat

then boy bark, but tempo silence only

i need to sleep! i cant babysit if im not alert!

yawn after yawn after yawn, eye so watery

aiya.

anyway, this few weeks have been moody

seems like everyone all so sad

only deb not affected,

that girl, dunia khiamat also she still happy =.=

hahahaha

2009-09-12T18:43:00.002+08:00

i officially embarassed myself during tuition.

again.

was teasing jaq and got carried away till laugh so loud =.=

got high pitch squeak which made me realise

and that made both of my hands flew up to my mouth..

funny thing is, whole class was noisy at first

but they turned quiet after hearing me

haii.. its like every week got something..hmm

could we stop pretentding?

2009-09-12T12:04:00.003+08:00

just thought i make a quick post before im off to tuition!

i spend the whole week, sleepless nights.

talk about cramping everything in =.=

and i really dont think that i would even do well for this trial.

especially certain papers.

if their main purpose was to help students, yet why till like that?

haiii.. and, lets just say, if anything happen to our real spm results, how leh?!!

especially the teras papers. and now i guess have to put more effort

anyway

me and jaq were wondering if we could make a quick stop at GB's later before class

that is, if got time or not.. :((

and im picking up my drawing pen again

hahaha

11 months never pick up!! since last november

will DRAW DRAW & DRAW to make up for all of those days this coming holiday

and the gang's already in raya mood! hahaha

especially amarina, she brought cakes for deb

HAHAHAHA!!!

and i guess thats it for now.

later if im back then mayb will post again.

and im being overly excited for tution.. hmm.

ivy and sihdah's 'word' of the day : you use the toilet you have aids.

2009-09-06T22:56:00.007+08:00

and Mirror's Edge finally okay already

NO MORE HANG!!!

bwahahahaha!

later if cant go net then i go play!

hahahaha

credits to EA =)

running and junmping from building to building,

& kicking bad guys ass is what i call fun...

oh ele, oh ele :S

yet, cool game :DD

love dangling on the helicopter~

2009-09-06T22:21:00.008+08:00

i know im suppose to be studying

but looky here, im blogging =.=

was suppose to open hist book today

i have nothing against history but the political part..

lot of facts to remember.

hair can fall =.=

now im randomly feeling upset somehow

last friday, while walking in sch

enviroment felt so familiar

cold yet pleasantly warm

and i started feeling nostalgic

and of all the days.

yet i cant really tell why i felt like that.

-021108-

afterthat i went back class

and deb and jaq were talking about a mermaid being found

somewhere near damai there.

they saw the picture in ben's phone.

i didnt, just dont dare.

yet i wonder if those things do exist?

ok, ok, back!

the conversation took a turn to how hot J is =.=

deborah brought the topic up

i seriously cant stand tht girl! HAHAHA!

just last 2 months she was crusing him

and asking him to go back China

and now, after opening facebook and looking at his profile

she totally got hooked to his body =.=

i know the guy works out, but please lah deb =.=

ur overly too excited!

which is bad.. well, kinda ;D

that day he got go sch, go take his sister

then jaq and deb started to sqeal seeing him

hahahahaha!

but its nice to see deb excited at times hahaha

tho, no offence, the guy does have a baby face

some innocent baby face

=.=

yet, deb, i still prefer you with L

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

& yesterday i went tuition alone

jaq couldnt come, she didnt have transport

so yeah. awkwardness happened. =.=

real lot of awkwardness happened

the space im sitting so open,

kinda felt like a dear in an open field.

like anytime can be shoot one

hais, but i didnt feel anything.

well maybe a bit.

2009-08-30T19:57:00.005+08:00

hmm..here i am again

its been long since my last post hahaha

couldnt online this few days

and i remembered jaq and yot's statement on last tuesday..

that i couldnt live without internet or lappy.. those kind of stuff =.=

since i couldnt go net and since next week start exam already,

other than 'trying' to pick up book, i wasted my time with KOTOR 2

well.. im not saying that im a fan of starwars but being raised as a only girl in the family

surrounded by boy siblings, rpg kotor was the one and only 'ok' choice of game for me

i could have sticked to wacthing tv but there was nothing to watch and

*dare i admit it* i desperately longed to hover the cursor =.=

and hear that clicking sound! *click* *click*

god, i need to get out =.=

cooped up at home this whole holiday so.. yeah

it was a choice between Prototype, Call of Duty, KOTOR, KOTOR2

and sims 3, but im already feedup of playing that.

i kind of deleted my previous save file last 2 weeks..

let me rephrase that 'i, stupidly, deleted my previous save file'

bodoh nak mati =.=

all my hard work gone! after generations of sims!!!! ALL MY HARD WORK GONE!!!

Prototype was out of the question, i saw covey played that game.

it was cruel. disgusting. and damn gruesome.

so anyway, i picked KOTOR 2

never really get starwars though

one part it all starts with a long long conversation and next, lightsaber turns on. then cut here and cut there =.=

well, it kind of goes like that. but i really do appreciate George Lucas works. in terms of technology and to think that the guy could come up with a movie like that. wow.

I've played KOTOR2 onced. hmm..last 3 or 4 years i guess

that time, i havent finish the first mission the game auto hang =.=

and when i started again last week, and still havent finish that very same mission it hang again.

covey play his character still ok, but my character always got problem!!

and so, i burst! claming that KOTOR2 had something against me

covey, suprisingly very kind, helped reinstall the whole thing

AND IT WORKED!!!

hahaha THANK YOU BOY!! ^^

and now, im on and just came back from maple ^^

hahaha miss maple so much, yet its boring when no one's on line =.=

and after this, it is goodbye internet for 3 weeks =.=

i cant live..

and i better change back my sleeping time to normal again

this holiday, since last wednesday

23.00pm-03.30am = study

03.30am-06.45am = KOTOR 2

07.00am-13.30pm = sleep

13.30pm = hunt food, mp3

14.00pm-16.00pm = KOTOR 2

16.00pm-21.00pm = slack, reading material, tv

21.00am-23.00am = KOTOR 2

and thats, the schedule hahahaha

result for staying up late = eye bags && tired look

hahahaha

and the whole house including makina when she visit says that

i look like those women who just lost their husbands in movies =.=

and tonight, im trying to cut down on kotor 2 a while, cause somehow i found it suprisingly addicting, and come online

manage to bargain with mum

bwahahahaha!!!

and i realise that im being over-protective and possessive on things..

so yeah, its weird. wanting to protect something that means a lot to you

yet your not really there.

aku ingin engkau selalu . hadir dan temani aku . disetiap langkah . yang meyakiniku . kau tercipta untukku . meski waktu akan mampu

memanggil seluruh ragaku .ku ingin kau tau . ku selalu milikmu . yang mencintaimu . sepanjang hidupku

Tapi mungkin ini memang jalan takdirku. Mengagumi tanpa dicintai.

2009-08-13T17:48:00.003+08:00

and i

i take it all back.

go on ahead and live in your own fantasy life.

you'll regret it.

you'll seriously regret it.

how could you not remember.

me of all people.

2009-08-13T16:05:00.004+08:00

GOD, IM GOING TO CRACK!!!

IM GOING TO CRACK!!!!!!!

OH MY GOD!!!!

WHY OF ALL THE PEOPLE, IT WAS REALLY YOU?!

I DONT KNOW WHETHER TO GET EMOTIONAL OR ANGRY RIGHT NOW, BUT GOD?!!

SERIOUSLY, WHY DOES IT HAD TO BE YOU?!

AND NOW, SUPRISINGLY, IM LAUGHING!

YES! DAMN COINCIDENCE!!!

SEIROUSLY DAMN COINCIDENCE!!

FEELING KIND OF THREATEN RIGHT NOW!!!!

BLACK HOLE. BLACK HOLE.

BLACK HOLE!!!!!!!

im getting too emotional. i knew that i should have been there.

instead coming into your life, and leaving like that.

i should have been there.

2009-08-08T20:28:00.005+08:00

today, i met ben and jaq at GB.H

actually, it was suppose to be jaq and i

but while i was on the way, ben came

before that, i didnt want to ganggu them

but after putting bag in class and seeing the place so vacant, i went down

and

i dont know whether it was what jaq and deb did

but suprisingly, i felt nothing.

really nothing. though i do admit a little bit of hope is still inside me

but today during class, maybe i did felt a little uneasy

but after that it was normal

i acted normal. i laughed and joked wif jaq the same way i always acted with the gang

and, it felt different, acting like that in that kind of place

knowing that your watching at sometimes.

and i seriously miss H.G!!!

i thought i saw him in sch that day,

but it was just some Form4

haiz..

come back fast T.T

W.T ALSO!!!

2009-08-06T19:15:00.002+08:00

AND TO THAT FUCKING STALKER!!!

GO FUCK YOURSELF LAH!!

EVERYTIME ALWAYS COME NEAR! LIKE SO GATAL MEH?!

ARE YOU REALLY THAT DESPERATE?! AND THE NERVE OF YOU!

BARU BROKE UP WITH UR GF THEN COME, ADMITING LIKING ME!!!!

YOU NO FACE ARH?! SERIOUSLY LAH! I'M NOT LIKE A SPARE TYRE, OKAY?!

AND EVEN IF I WASNT, YOU STILL THINK THAT GOT CHANCE???!!!!!!

(NOTT!!!!!!!)

PLEASEEE!!! OPEN YOUR EYES YOU BASTARD!!

LIKE SO GELI EHH!!! EEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!

PLEASE LAH!!!

JUST GO AWAY!!! STOP BEING DESPARATE!

IF I GOT GUN WITH ME, YOU STILL WANT TO COME NEAR IS IT?!

STILL WAN COME?!

IF KILLING WASNT ILLEGAL, DAH LAMA ADI I TIKAM YOU WITH KNIFE!!!

YOU DONT KNOW HOW MUCH I HATE YOU RIGHT NOW!!!

HOW MUCH I HATE YOU RIGHT NOW!

IF PPL ALREADY SHOW NO INTEREST, THEN STOP TACKLING!!

MUKA ALSO LOOK SO GATAL!!!!

AND IF I TALK TO DEB THEM PPL, YOU IBOH LAH MASUK CAMPUR O!

AND I COULDNT FIND PEACE AGAIN!

YOU THINK I LIKE IT KAH, YOU FOLLOW EVERYTIME?!

I PITY YOU! SERIOUSLY, I PITY YOU!!!!!

JUST WAKE UP FOR GOODNESS SAKE!!!!

IF NOT THEN GO FUCK YOURSELF!!!

2009-08-06T18:44:00.003+08:00

just got off the phone with deb and jaq

the three of us were arguing.. well, one against two mostly.

i kept my silence and jaq put down.

there's just no point. i dont see that lying could benefit everything.

its best to tell the truth from the beginning, aint it?

they never felt, how i felt.

they would never understand.

its different. for me. for you. the both of you.

all individuals are different.

its just that some people suffer more from it.

and yes, i am greatful. really i am.

i really thank the both of you for pairing the both of us but cant you see?

cant you both see that nothing could happen?

that tiny piece of hope is fading.

i have tried.

tried after W.T.

and again, its all the same with H.G

and you two now expect smth from C.V?

no no, that wont happen!

its just horrid if history repeated itself again.

and im tired, i really dont want to feel this way anymore.

so please, dont expect anything.

i'm letting it all go.